Motherhood; as witnessed from the one and only Elizabeth Naze (my mother and best friend).

I will never understand the responsibilities of a mother until I become one. I do not have the rights to explain or talk about the demands of motherhood because I have never borne children or even been pregnant before, but I can tell you what I've learnt from my mum. I can share with you some of the things I have learnt from consciously/subconsciously watching her.

Photo: Elizabeth Naze (my mum)

Ever since I reached the age of comprehension; since I began to see, move, talk, eat, play and dance, I've always SEEN my mother. Elizabeth Ngunan Sati, now Elizabeth Ngunan Isaac Naze, is the perfect representative of motherhood. There are other mothers out there like her of course, but I can only talk about her because she's the one that's MINE.

Photograph of I and my mum in 2022

As a child, I needed extra attention in all aspects of my life. I needed extra attention emotionally, academically, spiritually, mentally and even physically. I used to be a really slow learner, a really distracted baby girl, I loved to play, eat and sleep. Looking back, my mummy never lost it with me. Of course I saw her get angry at me after she had taught and taught, talked and talked, but afterwards, she'd calm down and speak to me gently. I was a crybaby (still am), but my mummy understood my needs. One could conclude that she learnt motherhood from somewhere but my mum's mother wasn't all that present in her life. From an early age, my mum had to leave her parents to stay with her elder sister (her father's child) who was way older than her mother. She attended primary and secondary school in Zaria. From what we know, it wasn't the jolliest of experiences. This half elder sister of hers wasn't the sweetest person. You see, my mummy who's so polished now didn't get the good things of life growing up. She didn't have the best clothes, shoes or education. She didn't have the best care. She told us one time that she had to take the decision of furthering her education after secondary school by herself, she took the decision to write her external exams by herself. At about age 18, she was already providing for herself and for the house she was staying at. This explains why she's a mover and shaker, it explains why she cannot sit still when things are going wrong, heck, my mummy doesn't even allow things begin to go wrong before she dips her hands and head to make them work. Since childhood, I've watched my mother be an embodiment of strength, a carrier of goodness, love and care, I've watched her radiate a very rare kind of peace that cannot be explained. Being with my mother feels like falling in love uncontrollably. Watching her eat something she loves makes you want to eat it too, the way she walks, her scent, her laugh, her deep side dimples, her curves, her hair. 

For a woman who used to be jealous of other girls while growing up, my mummy walks into a room and every woman her age, younger and even older feels intimidated (good or bad) depending on them. I've seen it happen with my own two eyes; my mother walks like the earth is hers, like she's mother nature living amongst us. This is not pride, it's deliberate efforts towards being better than where she was before now. She'll always tell us that she wants us to be better. She always says she'll never allow us experience half of the things she did as a girl. I don't know how she managed, but I know that if I came from where she came from and I was blessed with 5 girls, I'd be scared out of my mind. Scared of making the wrong moves with them, scared of seeing the life I purposely ran away from coming to haunt me through these girls. My mum said ‘no’, and she has fought tirelessly to make sure that we lack nothing. She's the best thing that has happened to us.

Seember wrote about my mum during her birthday countdown, Agie too has begun her countdown and she has also written something about my mum and that's how I know that this love I feel for Lizzy is shared by all my sisters.

Screenshots from Seember and Agnes Naze's post on WhatsApp

How can you share yourself so evenly? How can you love so passionately? How can you give what you only longed for? How can you be perfect?

Till date, my mum is still fighting, though she tries to keep some things away from us, but there are things that can never hide. We're grown now and we can finally see and understand her struggles.

I want to spend time talking about all that Elizabeth Ngunan Naze is to me, I want to idolise and immortalise her, I want you to feel exactly what I'm feeling right now as I type this, but I'll rest, I'll keep all that I want to say and say it/show it to her.

Of course my mummy is annoying just like every other mum out there, but why not? Why shouldn't she be? She's given most of herself for 5 girls; birthing, feeding, teaching, reading to, caring for, praying for, and standing as a strong pillar for. She's given most of her life to correcting, loving unconditionally, sacrificing and not getting the exact same energy back. If it were me, I'd have given up. I guess some mothers would say I do not understand that giving up is not an option, but there have been mothers who gave up, haven't there? There have been mothers who packed their bags and left and there'll be more who would pack their bags and leave. 

I am celebrating the mother that has been MINE for all the 22 years of my life. I am celebrating the mother who has overlooked my mistakes, pardoned them, and corrected them. I am celebrating the mother who has pushed me to be this very prolific writer and upcoming businesswoman. I am celebrating the mother who has sacrificed her womb, her belly, her appetite, her days and nights, her hair, her intelligence, her time, her voice, her possessions, for me. I am celebrating the mother who tirelessly worked to make myself and my sisters inseperable. You'd look at @thenazegirls and think we've always shared this bond, but we're results of my mother's constant preaching on love and sisterhood. We're end results of her prayers and tears to God. We're results of her practical examples of love and unity. Loving her husband, taking care of the things he holds dear, standing by him in sickness, a car accident and almost death, correcting and managing his mistakes, working hand in hand with him to provide and sustain a family of 7 has taught I and my sisters that sacrificing must not be painful. Sacrificing can be borne from a place of love and self-satisfaction. 

47 years of following God's design for her life, plenty years of being MUMMY to 5 needy girls. Happy 47th birthday to my best friend, my all-round teacher, my counsellor and special adviser, my favourite human and most of all, my mother. This year, all your heart desires shall be granted. This year, your children shall attain heights you never did and give you everlasting joy and pride. This year, you shall LIVE! 

Photograph of myself, my mum and sisters (2022)