The changing tune of the uncertainty of life.

For a while now, I'd been complaining to everyone who cared to listen, of my writer's block- how I've had no motivation to write at all. Yesterday, after a series of similar sad stories in the past months, the story of my friend losing his friend to a sad death broke the ice. I wrote this to help with some of my heart's tension.

Life is fickle

Its uncertainties sweep me off my feet in recent times, more than I have anticipated.

Lately, I've been contemplating ‘the end’ more than I'd like

Before now, I used to think that I was unafraid of the inevitability of death.

If dying means going back home

Home where I won't have to drag my feet to wake up mandatorily at 6am to pray and go on to make breakfast/lunch for my working class parents and little sister

Home, where I can sleep for hours in the daytime uninterrupted by people or headaches from the heat

Before now, I'd accepted death as what it is, ‘inevitable’

Lately, I find that I'm getting more than a little scared

The scare of my life so far, ending abruptly

So many have left; forcefully, cruelly, unprepared.

I've witnessed my friends lose more than two of their friends in the past year

Death suddenly seems too close.

Everytime, it's one sad story or another

We read narrations of how people went on small errands and never came back

More painfully, how they went on a mission that seemed like an opportunity for better, but never returned.

20 year olds, 21, 22, 18, 16!

Suicide songs have lost their rhythm because incessant deaths have taken over.

For everyone bleeding, I pray for healing

For everyone feeling scared and confused, I pray for peace

For me, I pray my story lasts longer than my 50s.

Comments

Personality profile: This and that about this writer.

New blog post: teeny facts ‘or not’ about this writer. Heyyy, long time no see. How are you holding up? I have to say the cold in this place is turning me to a jelly in a jar. Okay, hollup, seems like I’m deviating. Lol, guess that’s one fact or not about me…I love to talk. Let’s move to the basics. Maybe you’re wondering why I had to do this. I know, it’s not like I’m one celebrity or something but I’m your favourite writer (yeah, I heard you say so). Who knows, I may be one in two years from now or less cos why do I have you? Push me push me so I can have lots of money for giveaways 🙃 My name is Naze Salome Sewuese. Other names are Kristin, and of course, baby 😅. I’m a female woman (have to be real specific there). I come from a family of seven. My dad is an auditor and my mum is a teacher and a caterer and they both run a poultry house. I’m the second out of five girls. There’s Tee, myself, Seember, Nguamo and Mimi. I have my primary and secondary certificates fro...

A Year of Service, A Lifetime of Lessons

Service, friendship, growth They say life is in stages- I agree. But if I hadn’t passed through the challenges that came with NYSC and made it to this point, I’d probably still be in comatose, asking God “Why me?” Before graduation, my friends; Lucy, Kyen, Melody, and I, discussed where we’d love to be posted for service. We’d done the entire four (technically six) years of university together, so it only made sense to plan to do life after school together, or at least close enough. We compared dreams, and they basically aligned. Little did we know. You know, when you’re in a particular stage of life and preparing for its end, the only logical thing to do is to dream of better, to stay optimistic, because faith, among other things, teaches us to believe that there’s always better ahead. Camp was the experience. I’d attended boarding school and even gone to camp as a junior cadet back in secondary school. I remember an endurance trek we went on one morning that nearly rendered my legs i...

Dare to dream- you are more than the figure you see in the mirror.

In one episode of Young Sheldon, Sheldon asked the librarian what her religion was because he was learning about different religions in order to find the one he liked better. She said her religion teaches that when people die they go their own planets but women have to go to their husband's planet, except her because she's single. In all 23 years of my life, I have battled with people's different beliefs in relation to love, respect and ambitions. It's been a tough and conflicting battle on what to belief as right or not. I have made my own assumptions and research based on what I've been taught intentionally and I believe at this point, I have the right standing. The argument about God's intention when he took a rib out of man to create woman is one that can put one's brain in a turmoil. Did God mean for a woman to only be a helpmate and not have her own identity? Did he instruct Adam to be fruitful, multiply and subdue the earth by himself? ...

Sewuese's blog

Search This Blog